What are the beliefs you have—the internal judge speaking—that restrict you in life? Some can be incredibly hard to detect because you’re so used to them; they’re built into your system and worldview.
As we go through just a few examples, if one stands out to you, remember to be kind to yourself about it. These beliefs usually originated as a way to protect you or help you get through something hard.
Self-limiting beliefs are those pesky thoughts that tell us what we can't do, who we can't be, and where we can't go.
Overcoming self limiting beliefs is hard. They’re deeply ingrained and often go unnoticed, yet they shape our actions and perceptions. As B.F. Skinner’s principles of Operant Conditioning suggest, our behaviors and beliefs are often reinforced by past experiences (Skinner, 1938).
Identifying and Overcoming Your Self-Limiting Beliefs
Let’s define your self-limiting beliefs. Identify a couple that are in your way. Here are a few examples to get you thinking:
"It’s all up to me."
Struggle: You have to handle everything alone, leading to overwhelm and burnout.
Feeling like: "If I don’t do it, no one else will," or "I can’t rely on anyone else."
Alternative Belief: "I have a team behind me; it’s not all on my shoulders." This helps reduce stress and acknowledges the support system available.
"If I’m not perfect in execution, what’s the point?"
Struggle: Perfectionism, fear of failure, and avoidance of tasks.
Feeling like: "Anything less than perfect is unacceptable," or "Mistakes are a sign of incompetence."
Alternative Belief: "Effort and progress are more important than perfection." This encourages taking action and learning from mistakes, fostering growth and resilience.
"I’m not valuable."
Struggle: Low self-esteem, dependence on external validation, and difficulty accepting compliments.
Feeling like: "I am who the leader says I am," or "My worth is determined by others' approval."
Alternative Belief: "My value is inherent and not dependent on external validation." This promotes self-worth and confidence.
"I don’t do enough."
Struggle: Chronic guilt, overcommitting, hyper-responsible, and neglecting self-care.
Feeling like: "I must always be productive," or "resting means I’m lazy."
Alternative Belief: "Taking time to rest and recharge is essential for my well-being." This supports a balanced lifestyle and prevents burnout.
The Science Behind Beliefs
Research in clinical psychology shows that negative core beliefs can stem from early life experiences and can be perpetuated by negative reinforcement—where avoiding discomfort reinforces the limiting belief (Beck, 1967). Additionally, neuroscience reveals that these beliefs create neural pathways that become stronger over time, making them harder to change without intentional effort (Schultz, 2006).
Reflect and Challenge
Do any of these resonate with you? Did one prompt something that revealed your own self-limiting beliefs?
As you uncover these self-limiting beliefs, I want to challenge you to use the idea of ‘mismatching’—inviting a new story of you into your life in its place. To make this shift permanent requires watering, nourishing, and feeding it. The brain’s plasticity allows us to form new neural connections when we challenge and replace old beliefs with new, positive ones (Raichle, 2010).
Community Challenge:
Reflect on your self-limiting beliefs. Share one in the community feed and describe how it has affected you. Then, propose an alternate belief and discuss how you plan to nurture this new perspective.
Prompt for Action:
Identify and Reflect: Think about a recent situation where a self-limiting belief held you back. What was the belief, and how did it influence your actions?
Share and Support: Post your experience in the community and read others’ stories. What alternate beliefs are they adopting? How can you support each other in this transformation?
Plan for Change: Based on your reflection and the community's insights, develop a plan to reinforce your new belief. What daily practices will you incorporate to nurture this change?
Today’s daily thought: Take some time to uncover a couple of these self-limiting beliefs and get more eyes on them so you can do something about it. Let’s grow together and rewrite our stories. ❤️🔥🥊
Video Music:
by Greg Murray
References:
Skinner, B.F. (1938). The Behavior of Organisms: An Experimental Analysis.
Beck, A.T. (1967). Depression: Clinical, Experimental, and Theoretical Aspects.
Schultz, W. (2006). Behavioral Theories and the Neurophysiology of Reward. Annual Review of Psychology, 57, 87-115.
Raichle, M. E. (2010). The Brain's Default Mode Network. Annual Review of Neuroscience, 38, 433-447.
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